I'm wallowing in murderous hypocrisy
for the time being but come morning,
I'm sure I'll be pretending that dying is not a riot
and ask that you take whatever
you have to take to captivate me:
Diamond ring in a China shop,
bird's eye view from a table top.
Have you always been so strong?
Tell me what you know
about how nightmares choose
which doors to let themselves in through
because I always seem to need you
when you've become quiet and I think
it's time for me to get used to
the way you look in the dark.
Even though I felt the Psalms
dripping from my palms
before I knew where they came from,
I've never been more scared of your love.
Yet I'd walk 49 united states for one day of it.
I want to hurry home and let the ghosts sleep
but if I don't have what it takes to wake them up again
and shoo them from my dwelling place, I'll ask you
if you wouldn't mind doing it.
I'm sorry that my words don't do you justice
and I'm sorry that I continue to throw myself
over the thresh holds of other peoples' melodies.
You're a story with no beginning
and an incandescently pleasurable non ending.
Your eyes see minds that have changed.
Your eyes see minds that have stayed the same!
From the bottom of the deepest chambers of my rocky heart,
thank you for not being a gray area.
But even more, thank you
for having allowed me to believe
that you are.
I wish I were good at you.
I wish I could stop forgetting how you so gracefully
cast away fear and plant seeds and cycle us through ourselves,
and each other,
and you.
I'd rather be surrounded by your biggest mistakes
than my greatest accomplishments.
When I thought about thinking about you,
I talked to myself
but it just wasn't the same.
Always please:
find me, chase me, bring me home.
I feel you everywhere.
There is so much something in my heart.
Mountains of it. But I can't tell
the joy from the sorrow.
So I will choose joy.
I will choose you.
I'm yours.
