your light

My eyes open to the dark
Here I am again
Unaware of the state that my mind is in
At peace and protected never hurt so much
I've a sky-splitting ache to feel your touch
I don't know a thing about the things I do not know
I don't want to hear about the places I could go
Send me letters, send me sonnets, send me cold-hard-cash
Anything to ease the burning from this fiery crash
Walk me down to the lake with your face to my ear
And tell me everything you do not think I want to hear

I'm really not brave
I'm really not brave
I'm really not brave, no

Blushing by the way you say otherwise
I'll slip a secret into your most heavenly eyes:
I've a sickening fear of never being complete
And having everything I do dissolve away in retreat
Switching roles, taking turns, and playing to win,
It would be far more tragic to never even begin
Maybe the most of you is hiding in the sun
And it's you that's shining down over everyone
You don't budge while the earth rotates into night
And I remember how I never will deserve your light

love note to God.

Tell me why it is that I
Will leave you be for days
And just refuse your perfect love
In caravans of ways

Some days it is intentional
Because I am ashamed
And other times it's lack of strength
To list the wrongs I've framed

I guess there's just a part of me
That cannot comprehend
How I will stumble miserably
But you still call me friend

My heart goes beating just the same
At the times I do not I call
But why is it that I dismiss
You make it beat at all?

I wish to know you so much more
Though I've known you for so long
I want to cling to every note
Of your immaculate love song

I ask for you to take away
The things I need to lose
And I thank you for the wisdom
To know what I should choose

Losses bring some chaos
With utmost certainty
But the chains are never strong enough
That you can't set me free

My mind is much too simple
To fully realize
The peace that overwhelms my soul
Because you hear my cries

When lying bleeding on the ground
I beg for you to come
And when you're here to rescue me
It's myself you save me from.