cheap imitation.

mockeries of lockdowns
& locking you up downstairs
would never do,
supposeitdids & whatifs
don't amuse you,
& my imagery is
useless unless
these things
make you itch
where your heart is.

so my prayers go out for you
through your inky jet blue
night
& periodically throughout
my rose-colored-bright
day
as well.

with the leftovers of my 24 hours
i contemplate your structure
& what it is that makes you wriggle inside
your arduously polished patterns.
lipsticks, chopsticks, matchsticks, eye tricks-
maybe that's what little yous are made of.

& maybe we will explore it together-
the depths of your psyche, that is.
& we'll pour over your inhibitions
to come in contact with divinity.

& it's possible that even in the afterglow
you'll continue to peruse clearly empty aisles
in a hopeful manner[?]
& i'll continue to wonder why you're surprised
when the curtain falls before your final soliloquy
& your breath is taken back,
just like that shirt you got at half price,
because it so failed to live up to
the designer's version.

Right-Side Up

Sometimes I know you're watching me ignore you,
Sometimes I purposely adore you, and
Sometimes you get this look in your eye
Like you want to hold something upside down
And spin it round and round really fast.

And the terrifying
And all too appealing part about it is
That there isn't anything
anyone
can do about it
Or anything
anyone
can say about it
to make you
change your mind;
Your techno-rave-crazed mind.

Dough is enough for me
To shape and mold for free
(Or almost free)
So I don't need you
To grant me permission
To shape and mold you
For a price I can't pay
Or a day I can't survive.

But I'll still spend my time
Looking through collages-
The tangled webs and tapestries-
Of your life
(If you want me to)
Or your love
(If you need me to)
I just might not survive
If you spin me round and round
really fast
upside down.
So please,
Only right-side up.

Cookie.

I once ordered a cookie at a restaurant.
It looked like it knew something.


It did.


Not only did it know the exact location of my future spouse,
But it knew the time and place we would meet.


It was kind of a flaky cookie.

Rhymes, Riddles, and Reasons

Sounds take over
As I lie in my bed
Will I find no rest
Before I am dead?

Enchanting wind-chimes,
Shattering glass,
Crunching ice cubes,
Someone cutting the grass

It's buzzing hornets,
Squealing tires,
Crying babies,
Wildfires

Laughing people,
Smacking lips,
Staggered breathing,
Paper rips

Nails on a chalkboard,
Screams of pain,
It's childbirth and
Heavy rain

There's a corny joke
And subsequent groan,
A gurgling drain,
A new ring tone

An honest prayer,
piano tune,
And singing choir,
are joining soon

There are old men fighting,
Faucets leaking,
Skipping rocks and,
Foreigners speaking

I hear kittens meowing,
Howling hounds,
And then some other
stranger sounds:

I hear magnificence,
Rhymes, riddles, and reasons,
I hear oxygen,
And all four seasons

I hear revolution,
Regrets and pleas,
Nostalgic thoughts,
Epiphanies

I hear unloved children,
An unwritten song,
And unspoken thoughts,
Where they don't belong

Within young bodies
I hear dying spirits
It's a musical mess
With some beautiful lyrics

I hear the panic inside you
Every step that you take
I hear grace and forgiveness
I hear love. I hear hate.

Sleep comes not near me
This I continue to fear
As I lay and I struggle
With all I can hear

The sounds are unceasing
Silence I'll not find

For the truth is, I'm deaf


And that noise is my mind.