Inextricably Intertwined

I'm wallowing in murderous hypocrisy

for the time being but come morning,

I'm sure I'll be pretending that dying is not a riot

and ask that you take whatever

you have to take to captivate me:

Diamond ring in a China shop,

bird's eye view from a table top.

Have you always been so strong?

Tell me what you know

about how nightmares choose

which doors to let themselves in through

because I always seem to need you

when you've become quiet and I think

it's time for me to get used to

the way you look in the dark.

Even though I felt the Psalms

dripping from my palms

before I knew where they came from,

I've never been more scared of your love.

Yet I'd walk 49 united states for one day of it.

I want to hurry home and let the ghosts sleep

but if I don't have what it takes to wake them up again

and shoo them from my dwelling place, I'll ask you

if you wouldn't mind doing it.

I'm sorry that my words don't do you justice

and I'm sorry that I continue to throw myself

over the thresh holds of other peoples' melodies.

You're a story with no beginning

and an incandescently pleasurable non ending.

Your eyes see minds that have changed.

Your eyes see minds that have stayed the same!

From the bottom of the deepest chambers of my rocky heart,

thank you for not being a gray area.

But even more, thank you

for having allowed me to believe

that you are.

I wish I were good at you.

I wish I could stop forgetting how you so gracefully

cast away fear and plant seeds and cycle us through ourselves,

and each other,

and you.

I'd rather be surrounded by your biggest mistakes

than my greatest accomplishments.

When I thought about thinking about you,

I talked to myself

but it just wasn't the same.

Always please:

find me, chase me, bring me home.

I feel you everywhere.

There is so much something in my heart.

Mountains of it. But I can't tell

the joy from the sorrow.

So I will choose joy.

I will choose you.

I'm yours.

For all my Yous

I can feel again, she said. After all this time. 

So she wrote.

Sanctity strikes like a side swiping, sky splitting swish and pangs of pain ache in wistful waves. No direction and miles to go. Baby blues, blink twice if it's what you want to do. Baby greens, take a number for the memories that come at me like a fastball on the daily welcomed but not able to be silenced. Clips from then and clips from now and clips from everywhere and nowhere and with them and with him and without and with me and with her and with people I haven't met yet. And voices inside me bicker and argue and agree and laugh and I don’t know them but they sound familiar, like Lithuanian conversations I can't take part in but can identify taking place. And this reminds me of him and his rooms and his walk and his being holy and his kisses I would shy away from and his leaving and his coming back and his alwaysness and his being gone now but maybe only for now and I hope only for now and I know. Bringing us all together. I know that time is an illusion we are confined to within ourselves and I know. I know that hope is a gift from someone who knows better. And I know that I don’t know that I know that I don’t know. And I feel like I know and I know that I feel like I feel like I know and I want to go back and I never want to go back and there’s nothing to do and there is everything I can do to keep from crying and laughing at the same time so I shall do it all the time and for who? And for what? For no one and for everything. I heard that man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for? The space around me now is me and I will cherish it for everything it is and I will keep calm and carry on and remember you all and remember playing with fire and the gasoline and the heat. I will remember the heat and how I cannot pinpoint the day it went away. And I will play you back through the reels that I don’t control in a manner I don’t mind. Whoever said it should be simple? Warum sollte das Leben einfach sein wann Komplexität so schön ist? Remember the plane taking off? Remember the table for one? I love the way it sounds now. REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE? I still cry. Remember "forever" and how I didn't want it and how you tried to give it to her instead? Remember that one time I made you laugh? Remember. Never forget how she is with you in everything you touch and make and break. And do you remember the pay phone call carrying you to me across thousands of miles? Writing "I love you" on my hand when you returned? Remember the unfortunate moment I told you I would risk everything? Do you remember me watching you literally walk away? I stood under cold water with my clothes on to try and wash off the sad. Remember when I discovered your secret? Remember when you lived between my ears for years? I didn’t think you would care if I kept you there. Your memory warmed me until I didn't need you anymore. Thank you for laughing with me whenever I want to and whenever we have to. I will always love. You can keep what’s mine. It’s yours. You are the epitome of magnanimousness. You’d already won me over and I will never forget what you brought into my life because you are me and I am you and we are we and we are them, too. I’m so glad that you exist. I’m so head over feet about it that I could just drop dea

That's all she wrote. It was time to go. 

Thank you, Yous, for making me Me. 

The Well

How did I get down here, you ask?

Well, after throwing in all my wishes,

I figured I better follow in after them,

for I had nothing left to give.

And now I'm stuck! I yell for help

but nobody hears me.



Odd it is then, that I should notice

how truly blue the sky appears

looking up from here.

To pass the time, I enjoy finding shapes

in the clouds.



But the fact of the matter is:

I'm still stuck at the bottom of the Well.



Sometimes,

the very thing you are wishing for

is not wishing for you.

So just breathe! --

Because blue does the sky stay.

Untitled

So when the winds sweep you up from your wounds
and you need a place to lay your head--
try underneath the images you built yourself up from
in your twilight years.

Trials of the Road

You jump in your car but you're already late
Then a train, heavy traffic, school crossings - You wait
For pedestrians, equestrians, and cyclists galore,
And you narrowly avoid a fender bender or four

Speeding ticket, thick fog, and the radio's broken,
"Are we there yet?", wrong exit, and your transmission's smokin',
Construction, dead-end, swerve! Fallen tree!
Then BUMP! goes the cat that you just didn't see

On top of all that, someone just cut you off!
You speed up to pass them, flip the bird, and then scoff
You look down at the gauge and realize you need gas
When did driving become such a pain in the butt?


But just when you thought it would never be
You've finally made it!............... to the DMV

You're welcome.

If I filled a bucket with each tear I've shed for you,

I'd have a bucket

with a very shallow pool inside.

Thanks for "every"(no)thing.