Partly body, mostly soul

From the cradle to the grave

Every day and every trial
I'll exist within my body
It has been with me a while

The bones within me know no purpose
But to steady this mere frame
And my blood, it swims right through me
But it doesn't know my name

My teeth don't really feed me
Though they take what they can find
And if my eyes could see no longer
Well, I doubt they'd even mind

My lips will work together
In order that you hear
All the thoughts I have within me
That they don't know I hold dear

These other vessels for conversing
Will let me hear when there is rain
And they will let in many words
But they will never feel their pain

My fingers do as I command them
So as to grasp the world at hand

And my legs don't choose my goings,

They just run, walk, kick, and stand

Yes, my skin is back to dust

After it plays its earthly role

So I praise the God who made me

Partly body, mostly soul

Mending

Griping for lack of miracles is erroneous. A demand for tangible promises is foolishness. Training for a softer sooner is ridiculous. Life incognizant of death is recklessness. I am not a body with a soul. I am a soul with a body. No rough-housing, no horse-play says my soul to my skin which is quivering in awe and fear and shame. Such feelings are understandable. My skin's days are numbered, after all.



* Started in Sept. 2008. The idea then turned into "Partly body, mostly soul."
"Mending" was finished, titled, & posted on 2.18.09.

love note to God.

Tell me why it is that I
Will leave you be for days
And just refuse your perfect love
In caravans of ways

Some days it is intentional
Because I am ashamed
And other times it's lack of strength
To list the wrongs I've framed

I guess there's just a part of me
That cannot comprehend
How I will stumble miserably
But you still call me friend

My heart goes beating just the same
At the times I do not I call
But why is it that I dismiss
You make it beat at all?

I wish to know you so much more
Though I've known you for so long
I want to cling to every note
Of your immaculate love song

I ask for you to take away
The things I need to lose
And I thank you for the wisdom
To know what I should choose

Losses bring some chaos
With utmost certainty
But the chains are never strong enough
That you can't set me free

My mind is much too simple
To fully realize
The peace that overwhelms my soul
Because you hear my cries

When lying bleeding on the ground
I beg for you to come
And when you're here to rescue me
It's myself you save me from.

Traffic

Oh what a joy it is
to sit in traffic
with you by my side
for hours.
Seemingly never closer to
our destination
yet ever nearer to the
furthest portions in
the souls of one another.
Let us not contend
that it's a tragedy
standing still awhile.
Instead
let us gurgle with delight
at the time offered now.
To us.
Today.
Together.
We can lather ourselves
in these God-given tick-tocks.
And we'll push aside our flimsy fears
of never getting where we're going.
Because maybe we won't go.
And maybe that's alright--
there's still a light on back home.

Love&Leave.

From our days together
I hope you learned two things:
1. There's only one way to make me cry.
2. There's only one other way to make me cry.
You don't know it but,
I only cry in a certain room
Inside me
Where something
Settles like a shiver,
Falls like a timber, and
Runs like a river
That's severely off course
And a little ambient,
Arbitrary and indecent.
Because you're my winter.
You're my closed eyes
That can't deliver.
You're a retired surprise
Burning up with a whimper.
You're a cult hit
One hit wonder of a thing.
And you make something in this room
Stir like an eddy,
Melt like candy, and
Sprout like weeds.
Forgetting you not
Is a problem still unfolding
A solution still with-holding.
I take sidestreets, backstreets
Passageways and avenues differently
So I'll pass by the place you grew up
As many times as it takes
Until I don't think of you as I go.
Now, this hasn't worked yet
But I cannot detail any better
The cacophony of relief
That rings in my belly,
Wraps around my ankles,
And boils my soul over
Just because I didn't leave
A piece of me
With you.
No, only a mark of me
On you.
Or so I hope.
The thought of the possible world where
Parts of me were with you now
Pricks the back of my neck
And jerks me awake at night.
It scares me to the stars to wonder
Where all I would be.
You'd probably have scattered me about
Bits and pieces here and there-
Certainly keeping some for yourself.
But I'll bet you didn't know
You left a mark on me as well.
Because we grew up together,
You and I,
In this room with the dead-bolt lock
That can't keep me out
When there's this glass window
Paired with this rock in my hand.
And when the smashing passes,
I'll squirm right through the tiny frame
And in doing so
Be ripped apart from the outside in,
Shards of glass,
Sharp as your stare,
Sticking out every which way
From every angular space
As designated by your
Sidewinder smile.
And your seeming lack of compassion
Or decency of any measure
Delivers deathly decibels
That you don't know what it's like at all.

No. You don't know what it's like at all.